24 Hours of Hope

On Saturday, February 20th I went for a long run. 24 hours to be exact. And it was incredible.

I came up with the 24 hours of hope project while struggling through another tough season of depression. I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and do something I believed could make a real impact on the community. Though, I’m not sure I realized just how big of an impact that would be. $24,000 raised and dozens of new friends and neighbors, it is safe to say my cup is over filled. I have never known such kindness, grace and vulnerability from complete strangers. I was reminded that I am still unsure humans are inherently evil. I experienced too much love to feel that way right now.

The run started out great! I was joined by my friends Tyler and Wes at the starting line. At 7am we started the clock and took off heading north on the centennial trail out of Lake Stevens, towards highway 92, before we would turn around at the 1.25 mile mark and head back down the trail towards camp. We were keeping a 10 minute/ mile pace, around where I wanted to be. We cruised through first 2 hours before my friend Wes had to take off. A few laps later, Tyler and I were joined by his girlfriend and fellow runner Alaina. It seemed like every time we made it back to the aid station at the trailhead there were more new faces from the community in the crowd. I tried as best I could to stop and introduce myself every time I would see a new face. I was so inspired yet shaken by the stories they shared. The heartbreak they opened up to me, and the pain they trusted me with, all because I was willing to run and share my story. Not a special story, not a tragic story, just a story of struggle and pain and vulnerability. I will never forget the conversations I had and the words that were spoken. I was told that I filled a void for others, but in return the community filled a void that was within me. I wish I could have spoken to every one longer and more in depth. I so appreciated everyone’s support. After speaking with new friends, we would get back on the trail for another 2.5 mile lap. Tyler, Alaina and I kept up a good pace and cruised through an easy 2 1/2 hours. We put in 13 miles together as a trio, Tyler and I were at the marathon mark at this point, a little over 6 hours in to the run. Tyler and Alaina headed home, but Tyler would be back with me later to close out the night.

We went to a dark place together that night. We struggled. We grew our friendship. It was pretty sweet! More on that later.

After my friends took off it was time to enjoy a little time alone in my mind, focusing on the task at hand. I had my dad who joined me on his bike and kept me company and occupied, not focusing on the clock and dreading the time I still had left. Around 5pm I was joined by the Lake Stevens High School cross country team. A group of 10-15 high school students who were inspired and wanted to physically come show their support. When they arrived I was just north of 40 miles in and these kids were ready to RUN! I was doing my best not to make them question if I was actually running or just hobbling along but I was starting to feel the pain running down my quads and hamstrings down into my calves. One foot in front of the other. At 7pm, and 50 miles into my run, we decided to move from the trailhead to our home just a mile or two down the road. We wanted to be able to make a warm meal, run under street light and have access to restrooms and access beds for the crew. It was just the reset that I needed, or so I thought.

After running a few laps at the house I came back from a loop at around 9:30pm to see two strangers standing at our make shift aid station at the end of our driveway, talking to my family. They were two local runners who caught wind of the story and wanted to join in for a lap. They shared with me the struggles of depression and suicide that they have experienced and we went from strangers to friends in less that 30 minutes.

Night time was finally here and I was getting tired. Physically and mentally.

Around 11:30pm I hit the proverbial “wall”. Tyler was back to help push me through and keep me upward and onward, but I was completely ruined. My legs were toast. I could barely keep my eyes open. “Let me rest for 10 minutes” I would say, as motivation to get through one more lap. I got back from one particular lap and was finished. I had a giant blister running the length of my left foot. It was located on the bottom-middle of my foot, not the best place for a blister when you have another 7+ hours to run. It was not fun running on it to say the least. I eventually popped it and put Moleskin over it, but the help was minimal, if anything. My Wife took care of the blister, actually, and she got me in new socks and gave me a warm bowl of chicken noodle soup. I sat in front of a small propane heater, bundled in blankets and jackets, shivering, gobbling down the best bowl of soup I ever did eat.

I was a changed man after that bowl of Campbells.

Around midnight we got up to keep moving. Another lap down. Rest. Another lap down. Rest, eat chicken broth, another lap. Rest, another lap. repeat. It was truly eating the elephant one bite at a time. Tyler and I struggled and we froze, we were finally in that dark spot of the day. I am so thankful that I had a friend who was right there with me in the trenches. In between laps we were silent, resting for the few minutes we could, knowing exactly what the other was experiencing at that moment. Tyler had taken a break during the mid day but he was still at least 35+ miles in at this point, and it was the middle of the night. He was just as much in the struggle as I was. There were some laughs, pains, silent moments, delusional moments, dozens of raccoons, and even a tree we managed to mark our territory on just about every lap. Welcome to ultra running at 2am.

I found my way through that dark spot and my legs somehow were felling better? I don’t know if it was mental or what, but my stride felt better. My legs didn’t seem to hurt as much. It felt like I was back on hour 2 instead of hour 20. Tyler and I kept slugging through, one lap at a time. We were doing our best to keep hydrated and continue consuming calories, but for me the lack of sleep was starting to catch up. I was tired and sore. But we kept on pushing forward.

Around 5 or 6am our friend Wes came back to join in the party. He said he was impressed with how I was moving 22 hours into the run. I think he may have just been trying to be nice and keep me motivated, but whatever the truth was, it worked! I knew I was closing in on 24 hours and my goal was soon to be realized. There comes an exciting point that the three of us were talking about early before the sun came up on Sunday morning. “It’s really cool when you get to the point where you KNOW you’re going to finish”. We were at that point. A few more laps and the sun would be up, the rooster would crow and the clock would strike 7am. We set out for our final lap with giant grins on our faces. I did at least. “Let’s make sure we run this entire last lap”, we agreed. I was the only one who needed that pep talk, but yet again, it worked. As we started running a gentleman pulled his car over near Lundeen park where we were at, “Austin?” he asked with a wave. He was the father in law of an old soccer teammate of mine, and he felt compelled to come and support after hearing about the project. He headed off to join our family at the finish line. When we got back around to our neighborhood we were 100 yards from the driveway and the end of a long 24 hours. The clock said 7:05. And as soon as I reached my family and friends, I was finally done.

A day’s work you might say.

This experience has truly changed and humbled me in ways that I didn’t know I could be. The outpouring of love and kindness from complete strangers, MOST who have gone through far more painful and tragic struggles than myself, has moved me. I put faces to the statistics. I made friends with the people I read stories about. I shared more of me, and in return received so much more. I learned about people I love. I learned about people I had never met. This experience more than anything, was a learning experience. I have gained empathy, compassion, grace and love. I have gained mental fortitude and have strengthened the belief I hold deep within myself, that at the end of the day I am willing to suffer more than most, for what I need. My weaknesses are plenty, but they are the source of my strengths.

24 hours couldn’t knock me down, so, what’s next?